Belief
by BlairCorneliaBass
Summary: WARNING: don't read if you don't want to be spoiled for 3x17. Written from recaps by those who have already watched it and scenes that have been posted. How does Chuck Bass believe in Blair Waldorf?


A/N: Technically, I've only watched the scenes that were posted on youtube and read spoilers from the Canadians who've already seen the episode, so not every scene if exactly correct. If I feel like it, I may edit some scenes after I watch the episode in full.

Hopefully you will gather that this is not an excuse for Chuck's behavior, but perhaps an insight.

Also yes, I will be getting back to my other stories. This is the first writing itch that I've had in a while...

**Belief**

At any other time in the past ten months, he could have come home and she would be there. Sometimes, she would greet him in lingerie. Sometimes, he found her singing as she finished the place settings for their dinner. Sometimes, she was asleep on the couch, having obviously waited for his return even at a too-late hour.

Tonight would not be one of those nights.

But she was still there, even if not in body. Her dresses, her make-up, her perfume- it was all there, a hundred pieces of her imbedded all around his place. A thousand touches of her hand painted his wall, drops of sweat from her body still clung to his sheets.

She could not be removed.

This was their home. And she belonged to him, more than anything else he had.

_"Name your price," he demanded from the devil sitting across from him. In the room that up until a week ago he'd owned with his own blood and sweat._

_"It's not about money," Jack replied, a smile slithering across his lips._

_His eyes narrowed and his jaw locked, unable to hide the boiling hatred he felt for his last blood relative. To take this away from him now, when he'd already sold all of his shares of Bass Industries, when it was all he had- _

_What was the point if it wasn't about money?_

_And hadn't he fucked up his life enough with the whore he paid to play his mother?_

_Jack regarded him, taking in his tense posture and the unsteady rage radiating from him. He shook his head, chuckling. "Love has done some bad things to your control, Chuck. You've really gone soft."_

_He sat up, ready to upend the table that stood between them onto the bastard. "I want my hotel back! No matter what it costs!" _

_His uncle peered at him curiously, pursing his lips. "I'm willing to see how far you'll go."_

Everything came back to Jack. If it wasn't for him, he would have never agreed. If it wasn't for his manipulations, he wouldn't have lost his hotel. If it wasn't for him, he would have never believed his mother could be alive. Even a year ago, if it wasn't for him, he wouldn't have hurt Blair in that way.

It was his stipulation, not Chuck's.

_"There is something that's caught my eye."_

It was all just to fuck with his head. He knew that. Just like his uncle had only taken his hotel to hurt him. Just like his fucking father, telling him he couldn't be soft. The Bass line held no genes for emotion. Just business.

He could play back. He could be above it. His uncle wanted to drive him insane, but he would show him. Jack could never understand about true love- the kind of love that existed between him and Blair.

_"The worst thing you've ever done. The darkest thought you've ever had. I will stand by you through anything."_

She'd said it and she'd meant it. How many times had he fucked things up and she always forgave him? How many times had she turned him away and he'd always come back for more?

It couldn't be broken.

_"Fine," he bit out, striving to keep his body in check. Thankfully, Jack couldn't see his fingers digging into his leg under the table. "Make it tonight." He edged forward, glaring at him. "And I'll have my hotel back in the morning."_

_His uncle leaned back in his seat, a slow grin widening his mouth. "Agreed." He stood up, adjusting his robe. "You do understand that I'll need your complete commitment to this. I'll know if she knows."_

_Chuck kept his eyes lowered, his thumb grazing over his knuckles. He gave a slight nod._

_He felt a hand clap him on his shoulder. Hard. "Now, you'll have to excuse me," Jack whispered in his ear. "I have a date."_

One night. It was only one night. They'd slept together a year ago and he had gotten over that. It would mean nothing to her, just like the first time.

They could pretend it never happened.

He knew her like she knew him. Knew her reactions and just what to do to get her to agree. She would do it. She loved him that much. She would do anything for him, just like he would do anything for her.

If she knew how much it meant to him, she would do it.

It was Jack's stipulation, but it became Chuck's plan. He was in control. Called Blair to find where she was. Sent Jack to the boutique she shopped at with Serena. Waited in umoving silence until he returned, striding with ease back into his suite.

_"You know, I really liked the dress she was picking out," he told him, with a sly grin. "Make sure she wears it tonight."_

And, without so much as a tick of his jaw, he'd called the store and asked them to wrap it up. They knew where to send it; she frequented the shop enough.

Even what she would wear, he was in control of. Her shroud for tonight bought and paid for by him.

_"What did Jack want?" she asked and, had he not known better, he would have believed her innocent tone._

_He pressed the button for the elevator. A little too harshly. He kept his eyes on the desceding numbers as he answered. "He didn't make me any offers I would consider," he told her quietly._

_The doors opened. He saw from the corner of his eye the look of relief in her eyes. Of pride. His thumb stabbed the palm of his left hand._

_His cell ringtone filled the smalll space and he pressed it to his ear._

_"Tell me, does she still like to wear La Perla or has she moved onto Eres?"_

_He gritted his teeth, but kept himself in check. He could feel Blair watching him in concern._

_"Shall we make it for around ten o' clock tonight?" He could swear he could hear the smirk in his uncle's voice. "I do hope you'll give me the proper amount of time to fully enjoy myself." _

_He snapped the phone shut, barely reigning himself in from smashing it into the mirrored walls around him. Blair placed a hand on his arm._

_"What is it?"_

_He removed his arm from her touch. "It's over," he rasped, allowing his anger to wash over his words. "I couldn't make an offer, so Jack's closing the hotel."_

_The doors opened for her floor, and he strode off to the bar to get himself a drink. She probably expected it and he really needed one. He watched her in the reflection of a photo as she made her way to the counter. Knew the package would be lying for her there. And exactly what lay in it._

He'd been a child for too long, but he was going to be an adult about this. Adults understood what betrayal was. This wasn't a betrayal of love, it was proof of it.

No one else could understand because no one else loved as they did.

She would accept if he told her. He just couldn't do that.

If one didn't have to know, it was better if it was her.

It would help him forget, too.

_"Who was that?" she asked, coming from behind him._

_Just as he'd planned. He'd talked loudly enough on the phone in her room._

_"My lawyers. I was waiting to see if there was any chance of keeping the Empire doors open."_

_"And?" She was so hopeful, so sweet. She understood how much this meant to him, wanted him to have what he needed._

_He would remember that through the long night tonight._

_"There is not," he answered cuttingly. He could not look directly at her, but he could still see her petite frame freeze. "Jack's lawyers have the right to shut down the place. I just have to watch it die a slow, painful death."_

_He was sure that this was exactly what would happen if she did not follow through. Jack Bass was out for his blood, with no provocation except to enjoy his misery. _

_But what Jack Bass couldn't fathom, he couldn't take. He would not be able to take Blair from him._

_"When you bought the Empire," she began again, so softly, so soothingly, moving closer to him. "You told me you knew you could do it because I believed in you."_

_He remembered. Of course he did. It was the first time he knew that, even if he failed, she would stand by him. No matter what._

_This was a part of that._

_"And that hasn't changed," she continued encouragingly. "We'll find a way-"_

_"When are you going to get it- there is no way!" he burst out, surprising even himself. He had kept himself so in control up until then. _

_It was her words. She didn't understand, and yet hadn't she just said it herself? It was everything to him, a part of them. Giving up on it would be giving up on them._

_He watched her face recover from the shock, slowly form itself into polite acceptance. Falling just occasionally._

_He looked away, in shame. This was why he needed to rely less on emotions, like his father and Jack said. They could adore and kill in the same second._

_"I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I'm not mad at you, it's my fault."_

_Even now, she nodded in understanding, penitent and caring._

_A year ago she would have screamed at him, slapped his face so hard it would be red for hours. Banned him from her house for a week._

_She'd grown so much._

_Had he?_

_Looking at what he was doing now...._

_He raised his arms in the air, spreading them wide so she could really see him. "I am _everything_ my father said I was." _

_It was no lie._

_Because even now, as the tinge of regret began to sink into him, he wasn't going to back out. The pieces were already set in place- why stop it?_

_Because even under his fear, he still wanted to win._

_He walked away from her, knowing all the while what was running through her head._

It was just a matter of time then. A very long amount of time. It was Nathaniel's birthday and it was a perfect excuse to occupy himself. A perfect alibi.

Not that anyone else would find out.

The assassin game did not intrigue him. Putting a fake gun in his hands would allow his imagination to run, but then those thoughts would probably be more palatable to him than the ones flashing through his mind now.

Hardly anyone noticed her absence. To him, it was the most apparent thing about the party.

_"You know Blair. She's probably cheating."_

It wasn't cheating. Not even for her could it be considered cheating. It was the only way.

Still, perhaps she hadn't left yet. Perhaps, she had changed her mind.

She could be sitting on her bed right now, waiting to tell him how awful she'd been to consider it.

He walked with slow steps up her staircase, unwilling to acknowledge any of the emotions raging in his stomach.

He opened the door to her room. She was not there.

His feet stuck on the carpet for a minute as he absorbed this.

The box he'd seen earlier was open, empty.

He had seen the dress. Pictured what she looked like in it.

Knew what she looked like without it.

He hated her room, in all of its unnatural cleanness. Such a dirty, dirty mouth should not belong to such a room.

A bit of white caught his eye, the only other object on her pristine bed.

A note.

_One last chance to save your man._

Unnecessary. He'd done all the work to ensure she would feel guilt for not complying.

But effective.

Images in his head swirled around, intoxicating and horrible. Would she close her lips as he kissed her? Would she shut her eyes tight as he peeled off that beautiful dirty gown? Would she shudder as he touched her?

Would she cry out in ecstasy as he filled her?

The party ended, but he didn't know when. Only noticed when the house was silent once again.

It had been an hour, maybe two since she left. He couldn't stand to be in her house anymore. He would wait in the lobby, so he could see the exact moment when she arrived.

He didn't have to look to know it was her coming around the corner. He had long ago memorized the sound of her footsteps.

_"Home so soon?" he asked lightly, yet unable to raise his eyes to meet hers._

_Was it soon? He couldn't tell. It had felt like a whole other lifetime had occurred in the time since he'd last seen her._

_"Please tell me Jack was lying." Her voice was low and unsteady. Had she been screaming that much? "You wouldn't betray me like that."_

_"Me betray _you_?" he shot back derisively. "You're the one who just came after seeing my uncle."_

_And just how many times had she come that night, he had to wonder._

_"I went there for you!" she defended. "Because I thought it was the only way to save your hotel."_

_And it was, he reminded himself- keeping himself in check once more. It was the only way._

_"I would have done anything to help you. All you had to do was ask."_

_Oh and now she was a martyr, a saint. But saints didn't fuck their lover's uncles to save people._

_"If I had asked, it wouldn't have worked," he explained slowly. "You would have been too willing when Jack came to you; he would have known we were working together."_

_She shook her head, her eyes tearing._

_"I did what I had to do to win," he finished._

_"No!" she choked._

_"I can't let my feelings cost me all that I've built." _

_Right now, he would give half of all his money not to feel the way he did._

_She stared at him, and she was neither soft nor hard, but broken._

_"Even if it means losing me instead?" she asked._

_But he wasn't going to lose her. That was the point._

_She moved closer, and he could see the glow of lights shimmer on the wetness of her cheeks. "All I ever did was love you," she breathed._

_And didn't he do the same? He'd told her he wanted her to be happy, however that was achieved. It was his life's goal for the the past ten months._

_This would make him happy. Why couldn't she do the same for him? _

_"The worst thing I ever did. The darkest thought I've ever had. You said you'd stand by me through anything," he reminded her, watching her carefully. "This, Blair, is anything."_

_She should've known. This was him, and if she was surprised- how could she have ever claimed that she loved him?_

_Her face crumpled. "I never thought that the worst thing you would ever do would be to _me_."_

_How could she not? He always did the worst things to the people he loved most._

_It was an unavoidable trait of being a Bass._

_She should expect more to come._

_"You went up there on your own-" he countered but she stopped him with a hard slap across his face. He was almost glad for it. It wasn't until then that he realized his body was numb._

_She stared at him in silence, waiting for a response, a reply. But he could not meet her eyes._

_With a short sob, she threw out, "Goodbye Chuck," and made her way to the elevator._

_He listened to every step until they disappeared. He walked forward a few paces then paused, took out his phone and considered dialing._

She just needed time. It was a bad argument- the worst yet- but with a couple of days time, everything would be resolved. He would make her understand.

_The bastard was waiting for him when he arrived home- his home. Infecting everything he touched. Perhaps he would get it remodelled after this._

_"Welcome home, Chuck," Jack greeted him, straightening from his position at his pool table. _

_Chuck did not bother with a response, just went straight to the phone._

_"You're not mad at me, are you?" his uncle asked, tone mocking. "I mean, you didn't actually believe Blair could sleep with me and you two would be okay?" He narrowed his eyes at him keenly. "Or are you mad because I told her?"_

_"Security?" Chuck spoke into the phone. "I need Jack Bass escorted from my penthouse immediately."_

_He clicked off the device, feeling the smugness radiating from Jack without even looking at him. "You may have told her, but Blair and I will get past this."_

_"Is that what you think?" Jack returned. "Don't you get it, Chuck?"_

_He only stared at him, keeping his expression blank. He would not let him win._

_"Blair's seen the real you now; she could never love that," his uncle told him easily. "No one could."_

_No. She knew he was capable of this. She accepted him. She would forgive him. _

_Jack was the one no one could love._

_"Hope the Empire's everything you wanted," he called out as he walked towards the guards. "'Cause now it's all you got."_

_He walked over to the pool table where Jack had been. A piece of paper drew his eye again._

_He picked it up in his hands and saw that it was an agreement. Between Blair Waldorf and Jack Bass._

_She had drawn up a legal document for the night to ensure that it would get him his hotel. She had gone that far, was that detached from it._

_She would not have found any pleasure in it. Everything had been for him._

But it was too late tonight. He would call her tomorrow.

He looked around the suite, earned back from his blood and sweat. It was his and he would make sure that Jack nor anyone else could ever take it from him again.

He walked to the bedroom, relishing the antiques he'd had furnished, the art he'd had placed. All of it beautiful and expensive.

But so quiet.

He laid his head on the pillow of their bed, turning his nose deep into the material. He could smell the scent of her perfume so clearly, it burned in his nostrils. She was here still.

She could never leave.


End file.
